On August 14th Bill arrived early, so we went to have dinner and back to the hospital to spend a couple hours with Billy. He was in his private room and we had a new nurse, our first impression on him was that we didn't like him, not sure why we both felt that way but we did. It was now "hands on time" which means diaper change, sponge bath and clean and change his tubes. I normally change his diaper, but this nurse told me no, he'll do it. Then Billy started fussing and stuff so the nurse said he'll finish his cleaning later, we didn't think anything of it, Billy was starting to get agitated, it was late, so we thought we'd just let him rest and come back in the morning.
August 15th We got up and went to see our boy, I let his nurse know what happened the previous night and just how rude he was and she would let the head nurse know that we did not want him with our son again. I changed his diaper and fed him and cleaned him up, after spending a couple hours with him , we decided to go get lunch and when we came back it all began.
We walked in his room and his alarms were going off, his nurse was at lunch, so I grabbed another nurse, she turned up his oxygen levels and that seemed to work. I went up to his bed and we wasn't moving like we normally does, he's very active, he wouldn't even hold my finger. Alarms started sounding again,I noticed his blood pressure dropping, next thing the nurse calls for a bloodgas to see what was going on, it came back bad, so they ordered an xray, they said that was fine, next thing all alarms start sounding, his pressure has dropped and they are yelling 'code blue' Bill steps out of the room, I was just frozen in shock as I watch his room get packed with nurses and doctors, I thought he was gone. Then finally his respiratory therapist who ran upstairs form the level 1 NICU came up (we became close with him) We knew for him to run up to our room it must be bad, after about the longest 10-15 minutes of my life, Billy was ok again. they said somehow water got into his lungs, but they were able to get him stable again. I noticed that his blood pressure was dropping, so i asked his doctor on duty and he said the albuteral will cause that. I told him something is still wrong I can feel it, he said everything would be fine, NO ONE would listen to me, I'm his mother I should know!
A couple hours has now passed and they told us we should leave for awhile so Billy can get some rest, so we did. Later on I get a phone call from his nurse saying he is being moved back down to the level 1 NICU, his blood pressure is still dropping and they can't get it up. The doctor pulled us aside and told us, they don't know what happened, but things do not look good at all, he may not make it. At that point I run back in the NICU and just sit with him, he won't hold my finger at all. They tell us we need to leave its shift change, and he needs his rest and we should come back 1st thing in the morning. I called every hour to see how he was doing, at one call at 3am they said he was doing better. See, they wouldn't let us stay with him over night, of all nights for the NICU to be so so busy!!
We get to the hospital at 6am and we haven't even made it thru the NICU's doors and his respiratory therapist walks thru them and sees us and says its not good, he had tears in his eyes and I just bolted to my son. The doctors told us there is nothing else they could do for him, they tried everything but his pressure would just not come up. We then had him baptized and I had the priest say a prayer for him, just hoping for a miracle. Around 7:45 am they asked if I wanted to hold him and I told them yes, I then held my precious Billy for 46 minutes before he died in my arms. A few minutes before he passed, he reached for my finger and gave it one last squeeze.
The doctors and nurses actually started crying, no one had answers for us, no one knew what happened, EVERYONE was just in shock. They gave him to me for 4 hours after he passed so we could say good-bye to him, they even had a photographer from NILMDTS take pictures of us with Billy. Before the pictures they wanted to get him cleaned up and dressed, his nurse couldn't even do it, she almost dropped him, so I took him and bathed him and got him dress, I am his mother and that is what mothers do. I was truly in hell. They were all so distraught, they even dropped his file everywhere, it was just all so unbearable, it was truly a nightmare! I held him for 4 hours until he started losing color and my mom made me give him back, It was actually my husbands 1st time holding his son, and he actually didn't want to, but I told him he would regret it if he didn't, so daddy held his son for the 1st time. No one could possibly understand how it all felt. The doctor told us to call them in a week to find out what went wrong and what happened to our boy, cause they were just in a loss!
Friends of ours work at a funeral home, so we had his funeral there, his funeral was held on my husbands birthday, he wanted to have one day with his son he said. The next day he was cremated...That day was just unreal. A couple days late I called the doctors back and asked them what happened, they said because I did not have an autopsy on him, the only thing they could think of was that condensation got into his ventilator and someone did not clean his tubing properly and the water poisoned his blood. I was still grieving very hard and just let them say what they had to and they said how sorry they were and that was the end of the phone conversation. Well after telling Bill and my mom, they said wait, we signed papers for him to have an autopsy done, why wasn't it done, just pieces were not fitting right in the puzzle. then the funeral place calls and says his death certificate was there and our friend who works there said their was an autopsy performed on him, he had the v mark on his chest, even his death certificate said there was not one performed Needless to say, we got a lawyer! Can't say anything else, just that the case is still open and I am just waiting for my answers! Oh and one more thing, we did find out there was an autopsy performed on him!!!!!! Why are they lieing????? I'll be sure to post as soon as I am able too!
August 15th We got up and went to see our boy, I let his nurse know what happened the previous night and just how rude he was and she would let the head nurse know that we did not want him with our son again. I changed his diaper and fed him and cleaned him up, after spending a couple hours with him , we decided to go get lunch and when we came back it all began.
We walked in his room and his alarms were going off, his nurse was at lunch, so I grabbed another nurse, she turned up his oxygen levels and that seemed to work. I went up to his bed and we wasn't moving like we normally does, he's very active, he wouldn't even hold my finger. Alarms started sounding again,I noticed his blood pressure dropping, next thing the nurse calls for a bloodgas to see what was going on, it came back bad, so they ordered an xray, they said that was fine, next thing all alarms start sounding, his pressure has dropped and they are yelling 'code blue' Bill steps out of the room, I was just frozen in shock as I watch his room get packed with nurses and doctors, I thought he was gone. Then finally his respiratory therapist who ran upstairs form the level 1 NICU came up (we became close with him) We knew for him to run up to our room it must be bad, after about the longest 10-15 minutes of my life, Billy was ok again. they said somehow water got into his lungs, but they were able to get him stable again. I noticed that his blood pressure was dropping, so i asked his doctor on duty and he said the albuteral will cause that. I told him something is still wrong I can feel it, he said everything would be fine, NO ONE would listen to me, I'm his mother I should know!
A couple hours has now passed and they told us we should leave for awhile so Billy can get some rest, so we did. Later on I get a phone call from his nurse saying he is being moved back down to the level 1 NICU, his blood pressure is still dropping and they can't get it up. The doctor pulled us aside and told us, they don't know what happened, but things do not look good at all, he may not make it. At that point I run back in the NICU and just sit with him, he won't hold my finger at all. They tell us we need to leave its shift change, and he needs his rest and we should come back 1st thing in the morning. I called every hour to see how he was doing, at one call at 3am they said he was doing better. See, they wouldn't let us stay with him over night, of all nights for the NICU to be so so busy!!
We get to the hospital at 6am and we haven't even made it thru the NICU's doors and his respiratory therapist walks thru them and sees us and says its not good, he had tears in his eyes and I just bolted to my son. The doctors told us there is nothing else they could do for him, they tried everything but his pressure would just not come up. We then had him baptized and I had the priest say a prayer for him, just hoping for a miracle. Around 7:45 am they asked if I wanted to hold him and I told them yes, I then held my precious Billy for 46 minutes before he died in my arms. A few minutes before he passed, he reached for my finger and gave it one last squeeze.
The doctors and nurses actually started crying, no one had answers for us, no one knew what happened, EVERYONE was just in shock. They gave him to me for 4 hours after he passed so we could say good-bye to him, they even had a photographer from NILMDTS take pictures of us with Billy. Before the pictures they wanted to get him cleaned up and dressed, his nurse couldn't even do it, she almost dropped him, so I took him and bathed him and got him dress, I am his mother and that is what mothers do. I was truly in hell. They were all so distraught, they even dropped his file everywhere, it was just all so unbearable, it was truly a nightmare! I held him for 4 hours until he started losing color and my mom made me give him back, It was actually my husbands 1st time holding his son, and he actually didn't want to, but I told him he would regret it if he didn't, so daddy held his son for the 1st time. No one could possibly understand how it all felt. The doctor told us to call them in a week to find out what went wrong and what happened to our boy, cause they were just in a loss!
Friends of ours work at a funeral home, so we had his funeral there, his funeral was held on my husbands birthday, he wanted to have one day with his son he said. The next day he was cremated...That day was just unreal. A couple days late I called the doctors back and asked them what happened, they said because I did not have an autopsy on him, the only thing they could think of was that condensation got into his ventilator and someone did not clean his tubing properly and the water poisoned his blood. I was still grieving very hard and just let them say what they had to and they said how sorry they were and that was the end of the phone conversation. Well after telling Bill and my mom, they said wait, we signed papers for him to have an autopsy done, why wasn't it done, just pieces were not fitting right in the puzzle. then the funeral place calls and says his death certificate was there and our friend who works there said their was an autopsy performed on him, he had the v mark on his chest, even his death certificate said there was not one performed Needless to say, we got a lawyer! Can't say anything else, just that the case is still open and I am just waiting for my answers! Oh and one more thing, we did find out there was an autopsy performed on him!!!!!! Why are they lieing????? I'll be sure to post as soon as I am able too!
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