Well its 3:15 am and i am sooooo tired, but every time i close my eyes my head just goes crazy! I just keep thinking of how different things could be right now. I miss Billy so much, its so hard! I tell ya, there are plenty of days i just wish i could go to heaven, so then i could be with him. But i know he wouldn't want that, but its hard not to think like that sometimes. Being a mother is something i've dreamt about forever, and then to have it all taken from you, its pure hell. I think sometimes what did i ever do to deserve this? I did everything right, got me the best husband in the world, we were married.... then i see people who don't even want kids having them left and right, why can't i have that?? I just don't understand AT ALL!!!!
WHY ME?
WHY US?
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